There’s always another dish…

We came to the Churchill Northern Studies Centre knowing that we would be washing dishes for our room and board. We had no idea that there are an infinite number of dishes.

The life of a dishwasher is peculiar. Just when you think you are done – you aren’t. There’s always another dish. Beside the obvious places – such as the kitchen and dining room – there are cups in corners and dishes on desks. They seem to be… everywhere!

One would think that there are a finite number of dishes. After all, we are 250 miles beyond the end of the road. How would they get here? Do they fall from an airplane? Are they carried from the train? Have they stowed away on a boat? This is a research station, and we have joined in the studies here to answer the question: Where do the dishes come from?

We conducted interviews with key stakeholders involved with the acquisition and maintenance of food purveyance equipment (dishes). It was determined that a finite number of dishes were initially delivered to CNSC by train. The initial delivery has been supplemented by small deliveries. So it can be concluded that the dishes are not propagating through human intervention (delivery).

At this point we were forced to conduct an exhaustive study of each food purveyance item* which was conducted by a certified** dishwashing research assistant. The data obtained from this study was collated and outliers*** eliminated from the data set. The following extremely complex statistical analysis was conducted utilizing the following formula: {DW=[∞]d,kfs,c,cc,pp(R)}**.

Based on the outcome of the analysis, and anecdotal reports, we have determined there is an 89.31789 percent likelihood that dishes are a self propagating species.

Consequently, there is always another dish.

*DW= dishwasher; d=dishes; kfs=knife fork spoon; c=cup; cc=coffee cup; pp=pots & pans; R=researcher
**certified=gone crazy or mad from doing dishes
***broken dishes

Respectfully submitted by:
Riley & Karen Caton
Independent researchers****

****Unemployed consultants – CNSC Volunteers Summer 2009